“Lots of grandmothers and aunties, they have these folders full of bio-data and they’re passing them around and saying, look at this girl, look at this guy, it’s like trading cards,” she says.Bio-data are what Irshad calls "dating resumes." Many young Muslims feel like they're in limbo: An arranged marriage is out of the question, but they don't want to disrespect their family and religion. " — was the topic of conversation at a recent gathering of Muslim college students in Boston.This is called (Sahih Bukhari) Now it is important to note that Allah never prohibits something unless it is harmful to us. First, most reports of sexual abuse are not committed by strangers. So, overwhelmingly, it is those people who you are out on a ‘date’ with that commit these crimes.Also, as dating has become more widespread in a society, so has unwanted pregnancy, as well as sexually transmitted diseases.Although Irshad's family isn't aganist her dating, they have taken things into their own hands."My parents and my grandparents are constantly asking other people, anyone they meet 'do you know anyone good for my daughter? Irshad says her parents aren’t pushing her into a marriage, rather "helping" in the process.In the society that the Prophet (sal-Allahu alayhi wa-sallam) lived, burying little girls alive was the norm.
In one beautiful hadith, the Prophet (sws) says: (Ahmad) Secondly, you state the concern of getting to know someone for marriage.
You set your boundaries with your partner." I also heard from an Iranian American, a Lebanese, a Moroccan and a Bangladeshi.
They each had different experiences, depending on the family, culture and the country where they come from.
"The best advice I can give them is to think first about their relationship with God, with Allah, and then if they develop that relationship strongly, I tell them, make prayer, make supplication, that God put something in their path to make it easy to understand what type of spouse would be right for them," she told me. Tuba Muhlise Okyay, who is from Turkey, said in her conservative family, marriages are arranged.
There is, she said, a courtship period where the couple are accompanied by a chaperone on, say, a dinner.
by Yasmin Mogahed Reprinted from Suhaib As-salamu `alaykum brother, Thank you for the honest question you asked regarding dating. First, you have pointed out that you live in a society where dating is the norm.