So why, you might wonder, has Chris joined the growing band of British men, old and young, who have sworn off women for ever? There simply aren’t any good women out there.‘I have given up.
I have many female friends, but I can’t be bothered to deal with all the hang-ups and complications other women have,’ he says.‘Often, at my stage in life, many of them are divorced and seem full of bitterness and anger.’That’s certainly not the only complaint single men such as Chris direct at potential female partners they meet.
While they might be full of the entitlements of feminism and happy to preach the necessity of equality, men said the opposite sex were simultaneously all too keen to enjoy a comfortable lifestyle almost entirely paid for by their male partners.
It’s meet-for-sex and sometimes it will develop into a relationship.‘The dominant discourse in the Western world is that men are up for sex 24/7. Some men can cope with one-night stands, but most do not feel comfortable with them.’This is the case with Jamie Clows.
’Chris’s dating experience was particularly bruising as he spent years grieving, before loneliness led him to online dating and to pay a substantial sum to an introduction agency to find someone with whom to share his life. She barged in and started looking around: checking me out, checking out my house. It was very odd.’He says after lunch — which, of course, he paid for — things went even more rapidly downhill.‘She said: “So, Chris, what about us? ”‘I said: “We’re on a first date, I don’t know.”‘Women like this are trying to run before they can walk.
But as well as being relentlessly focused on money, he found some of the women he met — and he went on scores of dates — were surprisingly envious.‘A few years after Rosie died, I felt capable of trying to meet someone, so I joined the brutal triage of online dating. Maybe, faced with mortality as we all are in our 50s, she was so desperate for a relationship she tried to rush things.’Chris found he differed from many women he met because, unscarred by the trauma of a divorce, he had none of the resentment that seemed to haunt others. Maybe I was trying to recreate that, but it certainly didn’t work.’After around five years of dating, in 2015 Chris decided enough was enough.‘There was a gradual realisation that you are complete just as you are.
He may only be 27, but he’s already decided to give up on women entirely, disillusioned after a number of painful relationships and subsequent attempts at dating women who, after drinking too much, have proved themselves rather too keen to jump into bed.
Jamie, a small business owner from Chesterfield, Derbyshire, who has a young daughter from a previous relationship, says he is ‘a lot happier being single’.‘It all ends the same way,’ he says resignedly. It depresses me.‘Some women have become violent, in jealous rages for no reason, because they’ve been drinking too much.‘I’d rather go for a walk than to the pub.
But I’ve found it hard to meet anyone the same as me.‘Some women have asked me to sleep with them on the first night.